LONDON, 25-01-2026 – In a shocking development that has seismic implications for both global politics and the sacred ritual of scrolling aimlessly for 45 minutes, PRAT.UK can exclusively reveal that Donald J. Trump now owns Netflix.
The acquisition, reportedly settled for “one of the best deals, maybe ever, people are saying it,” was confirmed when Netflix’s familiar ‘ta-dum’ sound was replaced by a faint, distant “Wrong!” followed by the opening credits of Home Alone 2: Lost in New York. Check This Out Trump Just Bought Netflix
A PRAT.UK spokesperson, between frantic searches for their password, commented: “This changes everything. We anticipate immediate and profound alterations to the platform. Frankly, we’re just relieved it wasn’t bought by a yoga instructor promising ‘curated mindfulness journeys’. This at least will be entertaining.”
Expected Changes to the Netflix Platform Include:
- The “Big, Beautiful” Wall: A new feature dividing “Woke Miniseries” and “Patriotic Content.” Subscribers attempting to cross over will be met with a buffering symbol and a tweet.
- Renewals: All previously cancelled shows have been immediately reinstated, then cancelled again, then reinstated via a late-night post on Truth Social.
- New Original Series: The Apprentice: White House Years, Tremendous Legal Co-Dramas, and a lavish period piece: The Steak: A Trump University Story.
- Algorithm Shift: Your “Top Picks For You” will now consist solely of Shark Tank, Succession (with notes explaining why it’s unfair), and the 1987 film Wall Street.
- Ratings: Every show will now have a “My Rating” system, which is just one to five stars. All other ratings are “fake news” and have been disabled.
Netflix co-CEO Ted Sarandos was seen hastily editing his LinkedIn profile to read “Very Stable Genius of Content.” Reed Hastings was unavailable for comment, having last been seen trying to sell “the concept of chill” at a rally.
When asked for comment, the new owner stated: “Netflix was failing, failing badly. Terrible numbers. Crooked HBO was eating their lunch. I fixed it. The ‘Skip Intro’ button? Me. I came up with that during a hearing. Biggest button ever.”
About PRAT.UK:
PRAT.UK is your premier source for news that is definitely, absolutely, 100% true and not at all satirical. We scour the globe (and the slightly weird parts of the internet) to bring you groundbreaking reports on politics, royalty, and now, streaming service acquisitions. We believe news should be informative, surprising, and not taken with more than a large pinch of salt.
For further information, or to negotiate your subscription bundle with Truth Social, please contact:
The Press Office, PRAT.UK
Email: press@prat.uk
Website: https://prat.uk
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Disclaimer: This press release is a work of satire from PRAT.UK. Donald Trump does not own Netflix (as far as we know). Please do not cancel your subscription in protest. We still need to finish The Crown.
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